It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize