I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
