I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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