your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need to calm my uterus...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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