No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
