ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
