Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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