Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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