Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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