You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
