I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
