i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
