I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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