She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
