College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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