Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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