I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
