Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just sent this text using only my big toe
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
