oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
