It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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