i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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