I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
