Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
