If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
