jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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