found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
