It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
