Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
