Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You can't motorboat a personality
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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