I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
