Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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