This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
