when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
