My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
