Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
