If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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