Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
