You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Blood and glitter go together right?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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