gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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