Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
