Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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