It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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