you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
