the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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