I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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