maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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