Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
