Sry I called you an 8
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
