So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
