wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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